Autumn is here.

I find I notice clouds much more in photographs than I do in real life…

It’s partly liberating, to not really be thinking about anything, but also frustrating. I’ve got into the habit of feeling like I am wasting time if I am not doing something intellectually productive, whether that’s reading, writing, meditating, thinking or whatever. I feel as though I am being unproductive when my brain is vegetating. I’m trying to get out of this mindset and get a bit more space in my head, but I’m also hoping that leaving my thoughts to their own devices for a while will help my brain organise itself and that when I get back to ‘thinking properly’ my head will be clearer than it was before. I also get frustrated with the erratic mess of all these half-thoughts whirling round in my head, It makes me wish I could meditate properly and obtain some peace and tranquility to balance out the chaos.

Regardless, it’s a interesting new experience, and I’m enjoying learning some physical skills. It’s fantastic to feel the effects of working in my muscles and bones.

From Virginia Woolf’s Orlando, a (brilliant and witty) story about a man who turns into a woman, this bit is set around 1750:

Vain trifles as they seem, clothes have, they say, more important offices than merely to keep us warm. They change our view of the world and the world’s view of us. For example, when Captain Bartolus saw Orlando’s skirt, he had an awning stretched for her immediately, pressed her to take another slice of beef, and invited her to go ashore with him in the long–boat. These compliments would certainly not have been paid her had her skirts, instead of flowing, been cut tight to her legs in the fashion of breeches. And when we are paid compliments, it behoves us to make some return. Orlando curtseyed; she complied; she flattered the good man’s humours as she would not have done had his neat breeches been a woman’s skirts, and his braided coat a woman’s satin bodice. Thus, there is much to support the view that it is clothes that wear us and not we them; we may make them take the mould of arm or breast, but they mould our hearts, our brains, our tongues to their liking. So, having now worn skirts for a considerable time, a certain change was visible in Orlando, which is to be found, even in her face. If we compare the picture of Orlando as a man with that of Orlando as a woman we shall see that though both are undoubtedly one and the same person, there are certain changes. The man has his hand free to seize his sword, the woman must use hers to keep the satins from slipping from her shoulders. The man looks the world full in the face, as if it were made for his uses and fashioned to his liking. The woman takes a sidelong glance at it, full of subtlety, even of suspicion. Had they both worn the same clothes, it is possible that their outlook might have been the same.

In our image-centred society, clothes are a big deal. A good percentage of the high street seems to be clothes shops, or at least shops whose core product is clothing. Why do we spend so much money on clothing? What makes us buy the particular style of clothes we choose to wear?

I’ve always gone for the fairly straight edge bland clothing look, mainly because I don’t have the guts (or funds) to walk around in a pinstripe suit with slacks, a bowler hat and a cane, which is my ultimate aim, but also just out of laziness and my dislike of shopping-centre shopping. I do think clothing choice says a lot about the wearer, but I’m far more concerned about the post-image stages of human interaction than immediate appearances, so I try not over-emphasise clothing and presentation. I think one of my future ‘projects’ will be to experiment with some different clothing ideas to see how they affect social intercourse.

Although it is a sweeping generalization, I find that within social groups (most obviously when we are young) people want to dress like others, they want to be “in fashion” (in the loosest sense of the phrase), but at the same time nobody wants to be caught wearing exactly the same clothes as somebody else (with a few exceptions). Clothing is a fairly unique product in this sense, that a person wants to look the same and fit in with everyone else, but also wants to be individual and stand out at the same time. Clothes differ from other products, such as an iPod, because everyone has (more or less) exactly the same iPod, and that’s what counts – pure single product ownership. This is why we end up with lots of clothes shops, selling pretty much the same thing, with slight but important differences.

Clothing choice enables us to have a sense of belonging, but also a sense of individuality and uniqueness at the same time; security and freedom; acquiescence, apathy and (in some cases) a platform for communication. All of which are rather fundamental aspects of our lives – aspects which can be expressed and cultivated through our purchases.

[Picture from qube. Check out Rachael King's post on the same subject.]

I don’t know whether the artist intended to write ‘looser’ or ‘loser’, but I like to imagine he or she spelt it that way on purpose, rather than it just being poor spelling (although this is entirely possible, the graffiti is from Lisbon, Portugal).

I have started dropping it into conversation now and then, if you say it fast enough people don’t catch the last word and it’s interesting to see the different responses you get, whether they interpret it as loser or looser; perhaps when it is ambiguous people are likely to hear the phrase which fits with the philosophy they believe, the christian hears loser, the ardent agnostic hears looser.

At different times in my life, or even from day to day, you could place me into either interpretation. Mostly I believe that you can be more ‘free’ without inflexible dogma, but I also believe in ‘cosmic-objective’ moral truth (as in good and evil are more than bio-evolutionary products); I believe in truth, but my idea of the nature of truth is flexible and constantly being knocked down and rebuilt. A good way to look at it could be “Without a truth you are the loser”, even if that truth is “there is no truth”; the place not to be is that of not caring or not thinking about truth.

As time goes on I find myself less attached to truths I once held dear, especially those of a political or philosophical nature; as I learn more I realise just how limited my knowledge is, I am infinitely ignorant. I have become less eager to subscribe to any ideology or movement or to place myself on the political compass because I don’t want to commit without enough information, but I will never possess enough information. This give me more freedom to criticise and to move between ideas, but also means that I have less constructive ideals of my own to share.

Many of the things I have pursued over the past few years have given me a lot; I’ve progressed far, learnt much, discovered new things. I don’t want to abandon ideas like philosophy and ethics that I have been passionately investigating, maybe just place these things on the back burner for a while as I pursue something new. It could be that what I find is a renewed passion for these same ideas, most likely I’ll never have a concrete new direction, I’ll just look back in a years time and say ‘Ah, that’s where you were headed then’.

It's something I've written briefly about before, but after being away and having lots of photos of my travels to look through it's a thought that has come back to me. I'm talking about photos in the snapshot sense, or perhaps in the  "holiday photos" sense, rather than the pictures you would find in a gallery. I know a lot of people really love photos, love having them about; they stick them up around their room, have photos of their friends as their PC wallpaper and use photos as a sorce of comfort and familiarity.

I can't do this. I find photographs immensely powerful, they either make me feel alienated from a situation in the past, or make me feel isolated in that past time whilst everyone else is in the present, it's like being alone on a separate but identical planet Earth stuck in that single moment. That makes it sound worse than it is, I don't think these feelings are really a bad thing, if nothing else they are powerful and refreshing, when I feel like I want an emotional "hit" so to speak I whip out the photo album (or open the photos folder on the PC) and have a browse through. I don't take many pictures myself but when I do it makes these feelings even stronger. It's not just pictures of people that make me feel this way, often landscapes can be even more powerful, especially if they are of a deserted mountain vista, or most magnificently of all if they are looking out over some expanse of water.

On the other hand a really great photo as a piece of art is one that really draws me in, that can give me the same depth of feeling (though not necessarily the same feelings) as a photo with the added weight of a personal memory attached to it. The wonderful thing about a photograph by somebody else is that can give me that powerful feeling but it's not tied to one particular time, one particular event, I can take it wherever I want, place myself into it in whatever way I wish. I personally find photography one of the most powerful art forms because of this, indeed a good chunk of my time on the Internet is spent browsing for brilliant pictures, brilliant wallpapers to fit my mood and my view on the things around me at any particular time.

What are photos? For me, either powerful relics of the past, or (good photos at least) a form of artistic expression on a par with music.

Silence,
Sound,
Serenity.

From abstract to emotion,
An idea in motion.

An image, a form,
An ocean, a storm.

A fire, a call,
A moment, a fall.

Lonely people, lonely time,
My memories which are not mine. 

The voice of god whispering in the darkness.

The power of life streaming through the body.

A time of love, a time of loss,
Now reborn; silent reform.

New memories sealed, forever frozen,
The new direction, constantly chosen.

The end,
Silence,
But the rhythm lingers on,
Rejoins the eternal one.

This is one of my favourites:

and

"In a rare public appearance, photographer Gregory Colbert talks about the creation of his exhibit "Ashes and Snow." Colbert's work, which he calls "a 21st-century bestiary," captures the poetic beauty in our relationship to the animal kingdom. Colbert shows an 8-minute film, from the exhibit, of his epic swim with whales off the coast of the Azores."

You really need to experience these in motion to see why they are so special.

 

I'm going to be posting shorter updates until the end of May as I have a whole load of exams coming up. I'll mostly be sharing links to some of the sites and things I've found recently, just like this.

This is the time of the year when I feel closest to nature, there is so much around me that I can sympathise and empathise with. From the young plants who have sprouted too early (due to the warm winter), and paid the price, to the magnificent old trees, having passed through another year on their long, slow, journey. The young animals are preparing to have their first taste of life, with so much promise and so much possibility, while many adults are beginning the risky and fragile parenting process. The is so much to juxtapose, so much change, so much life.

I'm excited at the prospect of summer, by this time in the winter, even though it has been incredibly mild this year, I'm just waiting for the summer around the corner; I always have a romantic view of the seasons, but far more so when I am in the opposite season and I can take an unrealistic idealised view of what lies ahead. It's times like this when I get the urge to buy a camera…

The description on the site says the following:

Through religion, philosophy, psychology, art, and architecture, RADIANCE presents light as a universal symbol of life. This film invites the viewer to see how images of light continue from ancient cultures through modern times, connecting the visions of people throughout the world. Natural images, unusual special effects, and poetic narration are woven together with musical selections to develop an evocative documentary on light, from the metaphysical to the physical

Regardless of your opinions on what she is saying, there is some truly fantastic imagery going on. Well worth a look.

The Reflecting Pool

Documentary

I had not heard of the artist before, but apparently he is pretty famous in the video art world. His exhibition is a collection of videos, most around ten minutes in length, relating to water, fire and people. They included a figure standing in front a wall of fire, and then falling into a pool of water, projected onto a 10foot high screen in a pitch black room, with roaring sound. Another one was people falling into water in slow motion, from brilliant disorientating angles.

It is one of the best exhibitions I have ever been to, really powerful, fantastically executed. I would highly recommend anyone who leaves near London getting along before it closes. He made the videos from the exhibition (along with other footage totalling four hours) to accompany a performance of Wagner’s opera Tristan und Isolde, which must have been an amazing show.

It’s difficult to describe the power of them, although I managed to find a video on you tube from one of his older exhibitions that I have posted below, along with some pictures of the current exhibition above.

You Tube Video
More information 
Details of the exhibition (Entry is free!)

Thanks to: http://intao.deviantart.com/

It still feels like autumn..

What does it mean to be alive? To have breath? To be conscious? I personally don’t believe that is sufficient. Are you alive if you willingly let your life be controlled by something external to yourself? For example, your poloticians, the TV, a “lifestyle”. Of course, it is impossible for these things not to have an effect on you, but do you willingly give yourself up to these forces?

I would say, that to be alive, is to take control of your own reality, to have your own perception. What does that mean? It’s a fairly personal thing I guess, but for me it means coming to my own conclusions about what my senses percieve, and more importantly, the feelings outside of my five senses. Like I mentioned in my previous post, knowing why you do things is vital.

PKD has a fantastic, slightly different definition: “The authentic human being is one of us who instinctively knows what he should not do, and, in addition, he will balk at doing it. He will refuse to do it, even if this brings down dread consequences to him and to those whom he loves.”

So, are you “born” through some sort of revelation, or is it “in your genes”, or can you earn it yourself? I’ll save another post for that…

“Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist. He who would gather immortal palms must not be hindered by the name of goodness, but must explore it if it be goodness. Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own minds.” – Emerson

“Because today we live in a society in which spurious realities are manufactured by the media, by governments, by big corporations, by religious groups, political groups…So I ask, in my writing, What is real? Because unceasingly we are bombarded with pseudo-realities manufactured by very sophisticated people using very sophisticated electronic mechanisms. I do not distrust their motives; I distrust their power. They have a lot of it. And it is an astonishing power: that of creating whole universes, universes of the mind. I ought to know. I do the same thing.” – Philip K Dick

Quote: “Many eyes go through the meadow, but few see the flowers in it.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson