Recently I have been feeling a real urgency in my soul, as if now is the time to really get going, the time for change and real unparalleled progress. To a certain extent I always have this feeling around this time of the year as I’m beginning a new university year, a chance to start afresh all over again and really pour myself into the tasks ahead before fatigue and the mundane flow back into me. I’ve written recently about growing in the aesthetic and reconstructing of my aims and ideals, which has happened to me before, but now there’s an urgency and excitement about it that I have not felt before; I imagine it has something to do with the fact this is my last year (probably) at University, my last chance to do things here.
My life is a constant cycle of procrastination, there are so many opportunities all around me for growth and progression, yet I still manage to spend most of my day doing very little. Part of me is ashamed at my lack of energy and application; part of me, to a certain extent at least, believes indolence is necessary and helpful, that the time spent doing ‘nothing’ gives me the space I need to process and subconsciously take hold of the thoughts, feelings and ideas conceived when I am doing ’something’. For example, I probably sleep too much, time that could be spent acquiring knowledge, but sleep helps me sort out the knowledge I have gained during the day meaning I don’t end up getting swamped in an ever deepening pool of information.
In the past I have always reasoned that I need this space, but now I am feeling that this is more an excuse for inactivity than a healthy viewpoint, I start to abuse the balance and become less active as a result. I’ve found that one of the best ways to regain the balance is to have structure; over the summer I often haven’t had commitments during the day which has enabled me to sleep in late, and nap in the afternoon - I justify this by reasoning that I will stay up late and get things done - but then I just head to bed at the normal time. Without structure I fall into a rhythm of lethargy and inaction, it takes far more discipline to get things done when you have no time constraints or set points in your day. I’m hoping now that I am back at university I’ll be able to establish a rhythm of action through the increased structure of the week.
I’ve been reading some ‘life pointers’ from different websites and organisation recently, and many of them seem to contain this recurring idea of structure, control and action, especially that of structuring your day around reflection and introspection, often they just provide a kick up the backside for people to start doing something with their day other than sitting in front of the TV. For example, meditation CDs present a form of structure, to meditate for half an hour a day is a set time of intense introspection and hence intense progress, a time out to think about who you are and what you are doing, a process from which often comes action. Christians grow when they spend alot of time reading scriptures and in spiritual meditation, which is often acheived through structured study. Children have set daily routines to grow and learn discipline; even material-secularism gives us structure though the prevalent ideas of customisation and products to fill every need, the ideal advertisement-presented life involves gym, television, friday night socialisng, ipod on the tube, picking the kids up from school, yearly summer holidays…
As usual, it’s about balance: structure and space.
I find structure in my day-to-day life does help me get important stuff done, but I think I am more scared of it leading to a monotonous, predictable existence. This may not entirely be true it’s enough to keep me from say, putting aside time to read. I know the reading will be good for me, it’s not even a chore or unenjoyable it’s just not something I would naturally do. When I look at it like this I just assume that I am not a rational creature, but rather some sort of pathetic slave to my senses.
I agree. I do feel that too much structure in your daily life can lead to monotony, though it may be helpful in creating a stable environment, especially when young. I also think that it is a shame to lose that feeling of spontaneity and surprise in your everyday life that happens outside of a schedule or structure. The idea of doing the same thing at the same time every day fills me with dread, especially when it comes to work. I don’t want to become a drone, but at the same time, structure gives me that sense of security, knowing that I am capable of completing my set targets. As for meditation and contemplation, i don’t think these can be hemmed into a specific time slot - it should be natural and should arise from experiences during your day. The unexpected moments of self-analysis or ‘deep’ thought are the most rewarding and when your mind is most creative.
[...] much for structure, if anything I’ve gone the other [...]
I’ve been reading the comments left and get the feeling they where written by people who already have very structured lives and have never seen anything but, (if I am wrong, I apologise to anyone I may have offended). Coming from a guy who has had a very unstructured life, from growing up seeing my mother being beaten by my dad, coming in every night to a drunken mother who most of the time didn’t come home at all and living a life that has been anything but normal, I feel structure in ones life is important to grow, I yearn for a structured life but am so used to living an unstructured life that I find it hard to find some normality. When you speak of too much structured normality turning you into a clone of repetative life, I think that yes it would turn you into a clone if you let it. People who diet always have one or two days a week when they allow themselves to eat the things they want to eat and then the rest of the week they eat what is good for them, well the same applies to structuring your lives, live your lives in the week by structure and on a weekend act like a slob, be reckless, get out of the rat race and retreat to the hills, this way you will be happy, too much of the same thing is bad for you.