Some quotes on modesty:
With people of only moderate ability modesty is mere honesty; but with those who possess great talent it is hypocrisy. - Arthur Schopenhauer
Modesty is the lowest of the virtues, and is a confession of the deficiency it indicates. He who undervalues himself is justly overvalued by others. - William Hazlitt
I will not be modest. Humble, as much as you like, but not modest. Modesty is the virtue of the lukewarm. - Jean-Paul Sartre
And for a bit of balance:
Modesty is the gentle art of enhancing your charm by pretending not to be aware of it. - Oliver Herford
Modesty: The art of encouraging people to find out for themselves how wonderful you are. - Unknown
First I want to define modesty in order to make it clear what I am talking about. I am taking about modesty as the act of deliberately hiding some talent, knowledge or ability; the act of pretending you know less than you do, or are not as good at something as you are.
I've always felt modesty, in most contexts, was a false virtue, although I've been quite worried that this makes me an elitist git. The the more I think about it, however, the more it makes sense; modesty is simply a form of dishonesty.
Take for example the last quote above. Avoiding an argument over the value of people regarding you as "wonderful", how is anyone ever going to find out you are wonderful if you are constantly modest? If I am modest in everything I do then surely I can only be great when no-one is watching, so the only way anyone is ever going to discover a particular talent I have is if I let my modesty slip in public. Herford's claim isn't really modesty at all, it is calculated pride. Even if he pretends not to realise his charm, he is nonetheless demonstrating it deliberately which is immodest in itself.
Schopenhauer has missed the point, anyone with at least a single talent can still be modest and in the process be dishonest. Sartre has his finger on the pulse here; I can see how humility has great worth, the idea of pure honesty about one's talents and failures, the middle way between arrogance and modesty.
I have previously thought that modesty could be used in a self serving way but do not think it is a purely self serving attirbute. My own experiences and perception of modesty or being modest are ones of not wishing to drawn attention to myself because of shy embarrassment. In fact i can recall situations where i have been modest so that i hoped i did not appear ‘up myself’ in the manner of boasting. The main thought was to detract from any appearance of boasting, not to use the opportunity to display a modest attitude to manipulate peoples perceptions of me. Yes it can be misused but then what can’t? I guess you can only judge correctly if you know the person well enough to know if they are also being sincere.
oh and while i’m thinking about it, the worst virtue-related phrase which does my nut is ‘discretion is the better part of valour’. clearly a load of old bull sh*te.
Humility isn’t really to do with being honest about your talents and failures; it’s about how you relate to others. Being humble is actually serving other people and treating them as better than you, not just a mindset.
I think part of humility is that honesty, but that’s a better definitition you have there. Thanks.
I think with some issues say intelligence, which is widely accepted to be inherited, to be the better person you must be sensitive to the lesser. To be modest is to not let them realise you are, both people are happier at the end of the day. Then again theres a fine line between modesty and controlling your pride.